Saying Goodbye to a “Dumpster Fire” Year
When you think of the year 2023, what comes to mind? We have all probably heard the term “dumpster fire”, and that is exactly what I think of when I think of last year. Now, stick with me, this isn’t going to be a doom and gloom post. January 2023 started out with a bang, my husband and I got word that our daughter’s scoliosis had worsened. I stood looking at her x-rays, her spine resembling a snake and fear started to seep in. A few days later my seemingly healthy husband would have excruciating pain and be flown to a bigger town for not one but two surgeries, one of which was emergency.
The months that followed were filled with keeping homeschool and household afloat, my husband healing and overcoming complications from surgery. On top of that, trips to a bigger town for my daughter and a scoliosis brace being worn for 20 hours a day became part of our new family normal.
I started to feel like I was living in a fog from weariness and yet I was so jumpy with anxiety from fear that I couldn’t really sit still. There were a lot of days that I felt mentally exhausted. I don’t think that it was a coincidence that the verses I chose to focus on in 2023 were Proverbs 3:5-6 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him and he will make straight your paths.”
These verses were just what I needed to remember to trust Jesus. There were so many things going on that were out of my control and I needed to just let go. This is not something that comes easy to me. If I’m really honest, I like to have as much control as possible. Trusting, however, takes courage, and that’s not a bad thing.
If 2023 was a “dumpster fire” year for you or perhaps 2024 has started that way for you, I would encourage you to reach out to a friend and talk to them, maybe you are the one always helping others but it’s time to let someone else help you. Even more than talking to a friend or relative, I encourage you to talk to Jesus. He can handle anything we give him and he is always available.
Maybe finances are really tight, or you or a loved one is sick, a child struggling in school, recently had a loved one die, taking care of elderly parents or a special needs sibling. Whatever it might be, Jesus knows and he is trustworthy and he wants to carry all the things weighing us down, if we will simply let him. It doesn’t mean that your situation will drastically change, it might not. Yet you will make it through with a best friend, one that will never leave you, by your side, giving you strength to make it through whatever comes your way.
Yes, 2023 was a hard year but also a year of many blessings. From having lots of family connection time, letting friends and family help out when we needed it, and simply taking time to rest. I am thankful to report that my husband is doing much better and my daughter’s double curve has improved, as we continue on with treatment. Although anxiety and panic are still a struggle at times, Jesus helps me through.
2024 is on its way and no matter what comes with it, let’s trust Jesus to lead our path. I would love to pray for you, please reach out if you need a friend.
Photo by Cullan Smith on Unsplash
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Comparison, the Zapper of Happiness
Have you ever seen one of those electric bug zappers? They look like lanterns and glow a lovely blue color. The zapper seems like a friendly spot to land to the unsuspecting bug, whether that is a mosquito, gnat, or a fly. The bug notices the glowing light and suddenly nothing matters other than reaching that glowing lantern, for it must be a great place. Only it’s not… The bug flies into the glowing structure only to be electrocuted. I know, not the fairy tale ending you were expecting. Some of you are about to jump out of your chair, yes, one less mosquito to try and bite me! Others of you might want to stop reading, but please continue on, it gets better! How often in life do we, like the bug, get drawn to some shiny thing or think the “grass is greener on the other side”? Hopefully we won’t end up electrocuted, that is a horrid thought, but we still end up hurting ourselves when we compare who we are with others.
There are times I wish I could be like the writer that has eight hours a day to devote to writing. I hear how many words they are typing per day or the number of books they are putting out in a year. I feel like a fake, only writing when I can and not pushing myself harder. Then I remember that I am doing what I can and that God and family come before writing. I am not that other person, I am me and I am doing what God has asked of me, not them.
It can be easy for us to compare ourselves to others when it seems they have everything together and we feel like a hot mess. Comparison zaps our energy and steals our joy. My prayer for you today, as well as myself, is that we would stop comparing ourselves to others and be who God has called us to be. Rest, knowing that you are a masterpiece, and your Creator does not make junk. You might have a similar talent to the person standing next to you, but we each have different amounts of time, energy, family, and other factors in life.
So the next time you find yourself comparing your life with someone else, remember the bug flying toward the glowing blue lantern. Comparison is not worth the burn.
Sometimes, you’ve just got to pivot
When I say the word pivot, what do you picture? Being that I grew up surrounded by farmland in rural America, I picture an agricultural pivot watering the crops. Although this is a type of pivot, I really want you to picture a basketball player this time.
Imagine with me a basketball player preparing to move one direction and then swiftly passing the ball to another player. Or perhaps the player pivots to clear the way for them to shoot the ball. They suddenly change plans, all while having one foot firmly planted to the ground. If they didn’t keep that one foot planted to the ground, they would lose the ball.
This is a reminder to me that in life I need to be flexible all while keeping one foot firmly planted in Christ. There are times in our lives when things don’t go as planned and we must pivot. Recently, my family of four had planned a trip to visit extended family. We had hotels booked, bags packed and had arranged a pet sitter for our animals.
The day before we were to leave on our three state journey to Nebraska, my son woke up with a high fever. Right there, in that moment on a March morning, I had to choose. Was I going to let circumstances have me or was I going to pivot and make the best of things. All while keeping one foot firmly planted in Christ.
I am not perfect and I can’t say that I always choose to pivot. This time, however, I did and I found joy in a hard situation. It was not easy letting extended family know that we couldn’t make it at this time, canceling hotels, etc. Yet, I kept that one foot planted and the outcome was much better this time.
My son ended up being sick for a couple of days and then my daughter also for a couple more. Despite both kids feeling crummy, we were able to rest as a family, watch some movies, and care for each other.
We may not have made it on that 12 hour drive to see our relatives, yet we were able to make it 3 hours away to a larger town for some fun family time once the kids were feeling better. We can make plans, but they won’t alway pan out. Today I encourage you, be willing to pivot.
What race are we running?
Running blindly monologue:
(Scene opens with a runner stretching)
Oh, well hello there! You might be wondering what exactly I’m doing here? Well, I’m getting ready to run a race. You see (points) I have my running shoes, my sweat rag, water bottle and EVEN a handheld fan. (turns the fan on and points it towards his face) This really might come in handy later on. (puts fan away) Well, before I head out, I better do some more stretching. The experts say if you don’t stretch properly before exercising that you could hurt something. I don’t know about you, but I have come to like my ligaments, joints and bones! (stretches) There, now I should be all set. What’s that? (looks out towards audience) Where am I running to? Oh, I don’t know, we’ll just see where the wind leads me. (stretches again) What? (looks up towards audience) How long will I be running for? Well, (thinking) you sure are full of a lot of questions aren’t you? I don’t know, I’ll just keep following the wind until I get really tired I guess. (starts to leave and then turns back towards the audience) You have another question? Ok, that’s fine but please make it quick! I really want to get going. What’s your question this time? If I run until I’m tired, then how will I make it back? I don’t know, I’ll figure it out on the fly, maybe I will find a ride home or just camp out for the night. (shows frustration on face) The answer is no, I know you’re going to ask me if I’m going to run with camping gear and the answer is no! Look, I’m just going to blindly run and see what happens. ( starts running off the stage) I’ll see you later… or not!
(curtain)
Have you ever run a race? Perhaps it was a short one and you had to run as hard as you could and pushed yourself to the breaking point. Or maybe your race was a long distance race where you had to pace yourself. If you didn’t, you would end up fatigued and burnt out before the race was complete. In middle school and high school I was a sprinter in track and field. I loved running the 100, 200 and 4×100 meter races. However, every once in awhile my coach would need to fill the 400 meter and my name would be called. The 400 meter was not something I trained for in practice. Each time I ran the 400, I finished last or nearly last. I would do great until the 200 mark and then I would run out of steam. I didn’t know how to pace myself for such a race without practice. In a way, I was running blindly without a plan.
Unlike the gentleman in the above monologue–and myself running the 400 meter–in this thing we call life, we don’t have to run blindly by ourselves. If we have a relationship with Jesus ,we can rest assured that he knows all that lies ahead and will be with us each step of the way. When we put our trust in him, we know that he will help us to have the right pace in the race. In 1 Corinthians 9:23-25 it shows us how to run the race set before us.
“I do everything to spread the good news and share in its blessings. Don’t you realize that in a race everyone runs, but only one person gets the prize? So run to win! All athletes are disciplined in their training. They do it to win a prize that will fade away, but we do it for an eternal prize.”
The race of life is before us, will you choose to run blindly on your own? Or will you place your trust in the One that knows the pace of the race and will be there with you each step of the way?